i'm no betty draper

So, I finally finished watching season 2 of Mad Men....great season, by the way.  Usually when I watch Mad Men, all I can look at and think about is the ever-so-handsome, Don Draper.  I'm pretty sure in my next life, I'm going to marry Jon Hamm (sorry Brad).  But as I was watching season 2, I kept getting distracted with how much Betty Draper drank and smoked while knocked up.  It's crazy to think that they all probably drank and smoked.  How did our parents' generation end up being so...normal?  I'm sure there are several of us that would beg to differ...but for the most part, they came out addicted to martinis and unfiltered Lucky Strike cigarettes!  Today, there are so many do's and don'ts (pretty excessive, if you ask me) to pregnancy that it gets a bit overwhelming!  I feel guilty when I drink a cup of coffee in the morning...but it's either that or having a headache so bad that I get in my car and drive to my husband's work and maul his face off for getting me knocked up...

This past weekend I was in St. Louis visiting with some of my best friends.  Our usual weekends in St. Louis consist of Cardinal's games, patio bars, dancing til our feet become nubs, and Taco Bell at 4:00 in the morning.  This trip was a bit different for me...usually we (5 girls) try to start a brawl between any Cubs' fan that may come a bit too close to our circle--yes, Jersey Shore style.  Or, if a guy tries to dance with one of us 5 girls,  he gets yelled and screamed at and basically so humiliated that he'll probably never enter that establishment again for fear of running into us.  But this time, we were all exhausted by 11 pm.  We had no desire to go dancing....we had no desire to get Taco Bell as the sun came up...all we had a desire for were our beds and a pillow.  Not being able to drink booze definitely changed my behavior.  We were at one of my friend's surprise birthday parties, and I fell asleep in a chair...at 10:30 pm.  And like I said, booze was not involved!  Betty Draper definitely would not have fallen asleep, in a chair, at a party, at 10:30 pm... (Sigh...)

lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground

So, currently we're cleaning out the office and plan on transforming it into the nursery.  In the office, we have a closet that is filled with clothes, bags and shoes.  A few days ago, I cleaned out all of my clothes out of that closet and went from having 4 closets full of clothes to 3 closets full of clothes.  That's a pretty big consolidation considering how much clothes I have!  I might have an addiction to buying clothes, but I'm definitely not a hoarder....although you might think still having 3 closets full of clothes might be borderline hoarder...

So, these days, my daily wardrobe mainly consists of a t-shirt and underwear.  I don't have a job, it's too hot to leave the house and I'm freaking bloated...so, no pants for me!  I usually have an emergency pair of pants or shorts sitting next to me in case I know the UPS man is going to make an appearance...but even then, I rarely answer the door considering I probably haven't showered or brushed my teeth yet....
I recently tried wearing my skinny jeans a couple of times...3 things:
1.  Skinny jeans and being knocked up do not mix
2.  My skinny jeans will probably never be the same again
3.  The rubberband technique is just bruising your pride
What's the rubberband technique?  Well, it's when you're too fat to button or zip up your pants and have too much pride to wear pants that fit.  You hide your shameful act with a long shirt and pray to God that no one is looking at your stomach...but you're so paranoid that you feel like the world is observing and judging your fashion faux pas.  Yes, I should probably break down and buy maternity pants, but at 16 weeks, I'm still in denial.  Plus, I'm quite comfy in my t-shirt and underwear...I may just be in hiding for the next 5ish months just so I don't have to wear pants ever again.

whatever you do, don't forget the extra sauce

So, I kinda took a hiatus from blogging...not really because I forgot and not really because I got lazy (let's face it, I'm unemployed...I don't have anything better to do!) but I stopped because I started thinking that some of the things that I was feeling were really personal and didn't necessarily want to share with the world (aka--all 7 of my followers)... So, instead, I went to Barnes and Noble and bought a journal. Sure, I kept up with that for a bit, but I only wrote in that right before I went to sleep...and these days, as soon as my butt hits the bed, I'm comatose...unless my bladder is about to explode. So, that didn't last long either. So, here I am today...back in the blogging saddle....and I'm going to try my best to keep at it...

So, as of now, I'm almost 16 weeks pregs... We had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and we got to hear the heartbeat....well, kinda. I chugged a cup of coffee right before the appointment so when the doctor was trying to catch the heartbeat, babycakes would start doing flips and turns...so basically, I already have a stubborn baby...just like his...dad?? I told the doctor that I'm still waiting for the mythical "2nd trimester energy boost" and she laughed at me and said, "Yeah, not everyone gets that boost...you might be one of them." Right after the appointment, I went home and made a voodoo doll of the doctor. Which leads me to my next point...I think I've gone crazy (but don't you dare call me crazy or I'll shank you in your sleep). The one thing that I can't get used to with this pregnancy is the loss of control of my emotions. I've never really been a crier (a whiner and pouter, yes, but not a crier) but pregnancy = Niagara Falls of tears... A few weeks ago, the hubs was going to bring home takeout. I told him, whatever you do, DON'T FORGET THE EXTRA SAUCE. Now, I'm not trying to point fingers, but...he was a horrible husband and forgot the extra sauce. I opened my box and immediately looked for the extra sauce. When it was nowhere to be found, I left the table crying so hard as if someone had told me I'd never be a good enough dancer to make it on So You Think You Can Dance. I cried for an hour....over the missing extra sauce. And the only thing that calmed me down was my husband going and getting me Dairy Queen.... These are not actions of a sane person. I try to do breathing techniques, I try to exercise, I watch a lot of Bravo, and I read a lot of Perez Hilton...but nothing can stop the tears from coming if the sauce has been forgotten. NOTHING. Just thinking about the forgotten extra sauce is about to unleash the waterfalls right now....no one is safe...no one.