nervous nelly

So, I'm 24 weeks pregs and still feel like I have a long way to go...but in reality, her grand appearance is right around the corner!  I've been a little lazy with my posts lately but in the mean time, all I've really been doing is worrying, thinking, stressing, researching...you know, all the things a good mother should be doing??  I've never been one to worry or stress out about things.  I wasn't even really stressed while writing my thesis.  I'm always organized and have a lot of confidence in myself that I'll accomplish my goals.  However, it's completely different when you're having a baby.  No longer can I count on my planner, Blackberry or laptop to keep me organized.  Having a baby is a whole 'nother ball game.

It doesn't help that everything I read or hear about what you should and should not do, contradict each other.  For instance, on the Today Show this morning, they discussed that what we do in the 9 months of being pregnant not only shapes the way the baby will be when he/she is born, but it will shape the rest of his/her life...meaning whether or not your child will grow up to have cancer, or heart disease, or mental illness.  Yes, I realize I need to be healthy while pregnant in order to have a healthy baby, but really?  If my child gets cancer when he/she is 90 it will be MY fault because I drank too much coffee while pregnant?!  Or my child having a heart attack at the age of 80 is MY fault because I didn't eat enough spinach while pregnant?!  Also, they said that a certain amount of stress while pregnant is healthy for the baby.  But not too much stress...but a healthy amount of stress.  WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN?  Did they say what was a "healthy" amount of stress?  Of course not!  How can you even measure stress?  Is there a mood ring out there specific just for stress levels??  How about counting how many meltdowns you've had that week.  1-2 meltdowns = a healthy amount of stress and 15-20 meltdowns = a future with DCFS??  Is stressing out about the level of stress, healthy stress???

I think the sad part is, I've realized that, for the rest of my life, I will be worrying, stressing and thinking about my child/children 24/7.  In essence, I've already turned into my mother...