The Stare Down: A Case Study of a Baby vs Her Parents During Bedtime

So, I'm usually gushing about my little lady...about how she's so sweet and how much I love her....yada yada yada.  None of that's changed.  She's still sweet and I still love her.  But I'm not going to gush about her today.  Why?  Because she's been battling us during bedtime, and I can't take it anymore!  And I need your help.  I'm going to give you the facts and you give me the solution.  Please?

Here's what happened last night.  This isn't what happens every night, but some nights.  Enough times to where I'm about to go cray cray.

We usually start trying to get her to go to bed around 7:30.  She starts getting fussy then.  Brad rocks her for a while and then I nurse her.  We usually don't get her sound asleep until 8:30.  It usually takes us a couple of times to lay her down in the crib without her waking up.
She slept from 8:30 to 12:45. NOT LONG ENOUGH.
Last night we decided that we're not going to pick her up and rock her back to sleep...she's gotta figure it out on her own.  She didn't wake up crying and just laid there for about 15 minutes (I'm watching her on my video monitor).  Then she started whimpering.  Then when no one picked her up, she started crying.  And crying some more.  Baby daddy went and picked her up for a bit and tried to get her to calm down and go back to sleep.  Fail.  So he put her in the crib and gave her the binky.  She laid there for another 2 hours.  She didn't cry too much, only when the binky fell out.  But about 3:00, she started to cry again.  At this point, I was so exhausted and didn't know what to do and didn't want her to start crying it out again.  So, I caved and gave her my boob...a guaranteed silencer and sleep aid.  When I crawled back into bed, it was 3:45.  She had been awake for 3 hours.  Then she slept from 3:45 to 7:00 this morning.  NOT LONG ENOUGH.  I have time to blog right now because she's already gone down for her first nap.  Yeah, kiddo, you're exhausted because you slept like a newborn last night!  But not even when YOU were a newborn because you slept better than that!!

So, I'm asking everyone for advice.  I know she needs to cry it out and learn how to go to sleep on her own...but crying it out is the HARDEST thing EVER.  Listening to her cry just breaks my heart and all I want to do is hold her and soothe her.  But I know that's not helping the situation.  I KNOW she can sleep through the night because she did it from 5 weeks old until about 9 weeks old.  I'm talking, 8 hours plus another 3 hours plus maybe another 1 1/2 hours.  In fact, she slept 8 hours on Sunday night.  So I know she can do it.  I just don't know how to get her to do it every single night.  I'll even take the 6 straight hours she was sleeping for about 2 weeks ago!

I think one of the problems is that she may be teething.  She has been really slobbery lately and she's tugging on her ears a lot.  I really noticed it last night on the video monitor when she was awake.  In fact, she's tugging on her left ear so much/so hard that her ear lobe is starting to bleed where it's connected to her face!  Which, I suppose that's a whole different issue/blog post...  I guess if she's teething, then sleep methods might not work so well?

A few more facts to consider:
We swaddle her when we put her down for bed.  But she always busts through the swaddle, but that doesn't necessarily wake her up.
We usually have the sound machine on very softly on falling rain, but I read that if you use too much white noise, that can delay the speech for the child??  Not sure how true that is, so I'd like to stop using the sound machine.  (I think I really need to stop reading all these different studies....it just makes me more nervous and worry even more than I already do!)

I know in order for V to be a healthy, happy baby, she needs to get good sleep.  And in order for me to not pull my hair out and call her names, she needs to get good sleep!  My 4 month blog post is coming up in a couple of weeks and that's where I usually gush about all her great qualities!  I need her to sleep well before then or my blog post will be this:

Dear Violet/Stinker Baby,
You're 4 months old today.  Good for you.
I'm too exhausted to blog.
I'm looking into a coffee IV drip right now.
Love, Mommy

This is Violet staring me down through the video monitor last night.  She definitely has the look of determination and defiance, doesn't she??

100 days // Baek-il

Today marks Violet's 100 days or Baek-il.  In the Korean tradition, this is an important day because historically, there used to be high infant mortality rates.  So when a baby had reached its 100 days of being alive, there was a celebration and thanksgiving.  Traditionally, a small feast is prepared to celebrate the child's having survived this difficult period.  Historically, the mothers and babies were house bound for 3 months to ensure safety and good health for the mother and baby.   (I could not imagine not leaving the house for 3 months!!!  Even with Facebook, all the Real Housewives shows on Bravo and Oprah's final season to entertain me, I'd still go crazy!)

The traditions and customs are probably very different today, due to the fact of low infant mortality rates, but it's still a day of celebration and thanksgiving.  This day, I'm so thankful that Violet has been so healthy and happy these past 100 days.  She's been growing and changing everyday and I hope I never forget the happiness and love that I've felt in these past 100 days.  What's even more exciting is the next 100 days...and the 100 days after that...and after that...and after that!  Okay, you get the point.  Thank you, Brad, family, and friends for helping me keep her safe, healthy, happy and loved.  I could not have survived these 100 days without you all!

Happy 100 days, my sweet Violet Ann Nareh...I love you more than anything in the whole wide world...

Such a big girl!!

This face makes me beyond happy.  

Longest hair ever for a 3 month old!

Violet and her Eemo whom she loves so much!

The Hwang ladies!

So happy!!

Her outfit says Nareh, which is her Korean name that my parents gave her, which means "wings."  

Violet and Grandma...so happy and proud.  

Happy 100 days, boo!  

Dear Violet...

Today marks my first Mother's Day and your 3 month birthday.  Since my 2 month post, you've gone through so many changes and grown so much!  Your personality is starting to really show and I'm loving every bit of it!  I've been trying to get used to all the different ways you're changing and the different ways that you need me...please be patient with me, my love!

Here are some of the ways you've changed and grown since you were 2 months old:

--Right after I bragged about how you've been sleeping through the night, you decided to change up on me and sleep like a normal 2 month old!  That was a bit of an adjustment for me!  But now you're back to sleeping 6 hours straight, getting up to eat, then going back down for another 3 hours, getting up to eat, then playing for a little bit and then going back down for 1-2 hours.
--You are so very chatty!  Your favorite thing to say is still "goo" but your vocabulary is getting bigger and you're definitely finding your voice...and I love it!  Your sweet little voice is music to my ears!
--You're still extremely happy in the mornings.
--We moved you to your crib a couple of weeks ago.  You like your crib and I like you in your crib!  It was a little hard for me to make that move, but now I sleep better at night!  And I think you do too!
--You laughed for the first time 2 weeks ago.  It was the CUTEST thing ever!  Your daddy was at work so he didn't get to see/hear it, but you laughed for him the next week so all is well again in the Fager home!
--You are a mama's girl right now...
--You are constantly sucking on your digits or fist...which makes for a lot of drool!
--You're starting to lunge forward (or what I call "doing crunches") and it's the funniest thing to watch.  You lunch yourself forward but haven't learned how to lean yourself back!  So then you get stuck on your face/belly!
--Baby Einstein keeps your attention for about 15 minutes.
--We read several books a day and you love it!  You are so observant when I read to you and you just stare at the pages and take it all in.

--Your first Easter was spent in Champaign with Grandma and Grandpa and we had the best weekend!  

--Your neck and back are getting a lot stronger...even though you still don't like tummy time!  

--You're about to outgrow all of your 0-3 month clothes!  Which I'm sad about because you have some REALLY cute 0-3 month clothing!  

--You got your 2 month shots and you handled them pretty well...I think I was more nervous and upset about them than you were!  

--At your 2 month appointment, you over 11 pounds and 20.5 inches long.  You averaged 40th percentile in most of your stats.  

--You smiled for the first time during bath time a couple of weeks ago!  Yay!  No more stern face!

--Your hair is getting SO LONG!  Daddy likes to brush it towards your face after bath time and make you look like Justin Beiber...  

--You and Daddy gave me the most wonderful first Mother's Day a mommy could ask for!!

You have brought so much joy to our lives...you've shown me a level of happines, bliss and love that I didn't even know existed.  On this Mother's Day, you've also made me realize just how much more I appreciate my own mother.  Thank you for teaching me new things every single day...you teach me new things about you and you teach me new things about me.  Everyday I pray for guidance, patience and good health for our little family.  You've changed every thread of my being and I never want to go back to the way I was.   I love you, my sweet!

Love,

Mommy

Pals

How sweet are these pics??  Gibby wanted Violet to come over and play and Violet just couldn't keep her eyes off of him!  I can't wait to watch them grow up together, along with Gibby's little brother that will be here in September!  I just love these two kiddos to pieces!!