spanx on the fourth of july...

I find it odd that whenever people find out that I'm knocked up, they think that it's their duty to scare me with their child bearing/birthing nightmare stories...people that I've never even met before! They're telling me how their vaginas and nipples and bladder (oh my!) will never be the same again. And all I'm saying is, "Oh...mmmhmmm...oh yeah? You still pee your pants? Wow. That sucks." I mean, I guess they think they're doing me a favor by telling me everything, but I just as soon not know...at one point, I thought this lady was going to spread her legs and show me her battle wounds! And I had just met her that day! I guess in my mind, a stork is going to bring me my baby on February 7th. Not any sooner and not any later. I don't plan on spreading my legs for the world to see. I just plan on taking a nap and waking up to a beautiful (non Asian Chris Farley) baby!

With the fourth of July coming up, there are so many things going on. Boating, pool parties, bbqs, which none of those things sound appealing to me. I mean, two months ago, I would've tried to attend every single 4th of July party! But the thought of being in a bikini makes me want to vomit! I mean, why would I do that to someone else? I'm bloated, cranky and unemployed...not a good combination. However, one of my besties is having a huge pool party on Saturday, which I will most likely make an appearance...but I already warned her that under my bikini, I plan on wearing a sports bra and spanx...that'll teach her to have an awesome pool party when I'm knocked up!